mary sanchez

For release 05/11/06

A few etiquette basics will help reduce `ugly American’ image

By Mary Sanchez

Tribune Media Services

OK, guilty. I often avoid other Americans when traveling out of the country. Far too often they are loud, crude and poorly dressed. I don’t want to be lumped in with the disdain such folks draw.

So the recent news that a business group is attempting to counter the image of the “ugly American” found a willing listener here. The suggestions of the Business for Diplomatic Action’s campaign reads like etiquette children should be taught, not adults with passports and the finances to globe trot.

Speak lower and slower. Listen as much as you talk. Be proud of the American way, but remember it’s not the only way, are a few of the suggestions of the “World Citizens Guide.”

If your reply is “who cares if people like us,” congratulations! You have just exhibited a classic American attitude that is part of the problem. So used to being the superpower, of being the biggest economic strength at the table, we tend not to be concerned with how we are perceived. Call it the attitude of the elite.

Others must kowtow to you. You expect them to understand and love you, not the other way around.

That attitude can fly until you try to do business in another country and it implodes due some guffaw that could have been easily avoided with a little less sass and a little more class.

The very term “Americans” is even part of the issue. What about South and Central America? Aren’t they Americans too? Not in the view of the Americans of the North American variety. The term often only applies to them. Believe me, this ticks people off.

It is an example of the sort of “OK, enough about me, but would you like to hear more about me” complex that is part of our negative world image.

Still, how much will saying a few more “thank you’s” lowering our voices, and being a little less greedy really improve the image of the United States?

Especially if at the same time we negotiate trade policies that often have us asking much of foreign markets, yet offering little in the way of cutting back subsidies for our products.

Is it the U.S. citizen people dislike, or our government’s foreign policies? Posing the question to people far more traveled than I, this astute reply came via e-mail from a man who combs the globe with the cargo industry:

“This program attempts to burnish our conduct, when in fact our perception problems abroad stem more from who we ARE than HOW we conduct ourselves. Not that the two are mutually exclusive _ our behavior is one manifestation of ourselves but I’m not sure that better-behaving Americans will do much to offset nightly images of U.S. troops bombing wedding parties and beating helpless prisoners.”

Well said.

This line, from the online site of Business for Diplomatic Action, gives credence to what is ultimately at stake: “Anti-Americanism, while not acutely felt by most Americas, is a growing threat to our economic and national security.”

This is true because the rest of the world knows more about us than we do about them. And yet the images they most often see, courtesy of Hollywood and the music industry, are not all that accurate. No rap artist truly represents the United States. Neither does road rage, Hummers or Paris Hilton.

Judge us through these lens and the men come out violent and sexist and the women are sluts and greedy for money.

The stronger truth is that our greatest strength is also a bit to blame for our weaknesses.

I did not fully grasp the American sense of individualism until I lived in Mexico and Central America. Yes, my days of ducking from tour groups, of slipping unnoticed between the exhibits as large U.S. families rambled noisily through museums.

We take up space, often loudly, often without seeing how we affect others. In business, the attitude helps with decisiveness. It is our innovation. Our ability to overcome obstacles, the belief of “if there is a will, there is a way.” But the inability, the unwillingness, to see how others view us is the flipside.

Maybe we do need to start with a few basics of etiquette. Couldn’t hurt.

Mary Sanchez is an opinion-page columnist for The Kansas City Star. Readers may write to her at: Kansas City Star, 1729 Grand Blvd., Kansas City, Mo. 64108-1413, or via e-mail at msanchez@kcstar.com.

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